Lessons I've learned

September 21, 2007

As I sit here in this "unusual" sweltering heat, I think about this place. It is growing on me daily and although it is SO different from where I come from, I am beginning to appreciate the small yet magnificient differences. While it's painstakingly obvious that Japan is different from the US, I have found that many of these are actually opposite customs or at least appear to be backwards from what I'm used to. Please bare with me as I elaborate...

#1 - First and formost, the Japanese drive on the LEFT side of the street and, of course this conversely means they have the steering wheele on the RIGHT side of the car. This simple, yet gigantic difference has caused me to attempt to get into a car on the wrong side at least 10 times and twice just yesterday. Not only this, but when I ride my wicked witch of the west bike, with a basket on the front, I found out that I have been riding on the wrong side of the street, which has caused me to swerve from hitting children and old Japanese people. Plus, once I hit a pole....again. I don't know what it is, I guess I'm drawn to them or something, but either way, it's a love/hate relationship at this point. Anayway, this has caused problems thus far both morally and physically. Lesson #1, people here drive and bike on the LEFT side of the street. 

#2 - The sociological way of dealing with issues is totally different here. I wil use an example to illustrate my point. They place so much emphasis on promptness here its crazy....or I guess its very sane, if I think about it. It's just that if anyone knows me, I have problems with being late...it's pretty bad, but I still get by. Here, however, the approach to dealing with such a fool is different. Rather than having your boss (in this case its my principal: a little old man who tends to make funny faces) tell you "don't be late again," or "the next time you're late, I'm taking it out of your salary," or "You're Fired" he and every other Japanese "head hancho" opts to say nothing. Instead, he shoots evil looks at you accross the staff room, pretending you can't see him and when you catch him doing it, he quickly shifts his face into a smile and dissapears into his office....I think he wants me dead....or back in Colorado, I'm not sure yet. Either way, lesson #2- stop being late...I'll let you know when I learn this.

#3 - A simple, yet noticable difference. In the states when we greet each other, we say "what's up?" and bob our head up. Here, the opposite response is when you greet someone you bow down! And in some cases you keep bowing down until its awekward. The reason they do this is really quite amazing, apparently when they bow down, their intentions are to elevate their counterpart to a status above them. This is a sign of respect through a humbling gesture. This brings me to my next simple but true opposite....In America, there are so many egos. We are cockey as hell, and I'll admit, if you have a reason to be (apparently TO has 250 million of them or something like that. Whatever he's dumb.) than why not show it. However, in Takayama, they are so gentile and humble that bowing is the standard. Sometimes I picture Terrell Owens walking the streets of Takayama and I envision his head actually exploding....lesson #3- Bow a lot here or your head will explode. 

#4 - The language is all backwards here, which is why everytime I try to speak Japanese, I want to punch babbies. First of all, the main subject is in the front of the sentence, the verb is at the end, there are three different alphabets; one of which, Kanji, derived from Chinese characters, is, in its entirety, unbeknownst to most NATIVE SPEAKERS, ANDDDD finally, they don't have the letters R, L or TH. So, everytime I hear them say my name, I want to kick babbies. I guess that's being a little harsh, but you get the idea. This language is redicurousry difficurt. Lesson #4 - Study hard and learn the language quickly, and in the meantime, stay away from nurseries.

#5 - When you're out and night on the weekends trying to meet people, you would think it might be difficult to talk to girls, not knowing how to say anything. Quite the contrary. Even if you don't know the language, and you are literally walking out of a bar, a girl might say hello to you in English. If you're drunk enough, you get so excited that a cute Japanese girl can speak English, that you ask for her phone number in the second sentence of the conversation. That night you will feel proud becuase you got a number without having to speak Japanese. You will also think of "Swingers" and rack your brain as to what the call-back time frame is in Japan. You wonder, is the 3 day call back standard here or should you call the next day? It's an age old debate and you sit and ponder this question on into the night. The next day, around noon, your phone will ring and your questions immediatle end, as she has made your decision for you and called YOU...the NEXT DAY....AT NOON! This, you can't believe. You pick up and she wants to hang out. Wow. Lesson # 5- Women here are preditors and we are prey......being prey Kicks Asss!!

#6 - And finally, the last and most difficult difference I've come accross while being here for nearly 2 months is the whoooole issue dealing with shoes. Yes, shoes. Now bare with me here, they have categorically seperated their shoes so that your day revolves almost entirely around which goddamn pair of shoes you're wearing. Let me explain:
For sanitary reasons (Japan must be one of the cleanest places in the world, especially when you concider the amount of people living here per habitable square foot....its really quite impressive and astounding at the same time) they have divided their shoes into 4 main categories. Indoor shoes, outside shoes, gym shoes and no shoes at all. So, outside shoes are your average, run of the mill, American style sneakers or dress shoes, which we would usually wear all day. The gym shoes are worn by both students and teachers and they all match. Yes, they are all the same brand, type and model. However, the indoor shoes is where its gets tricky.
So these can be sandles or sneakers for boys or dress shoes for girls...now wait a second, you're saying to yourself, "I thought sneakers and dress shoes were used outdoor." EXACTLY. You just read my mind...or did I read yours....either way, this is what I'm dealing with. Apparently, they just took a pair of their "outdoor" shoes, wiped them down, and now they are "indoor" shoes. Can they do that?? I thought there were rules here....And as for the no-shoes policy, I'm convinced this is completely arbitrary. I swear that when they decide to rock no shoes, it is totally at random. They just take 'em off and start walkin' around. I'm lost.

So this is the shoe issue and if you're like me, and you want to play sports, you have to acquire like 14 pairs of shoes. I couldn't play basketball the other day because all I had were 2 pairs of dress shoes, 1 pair of sandles and a pair of outdoor shoes all in my locker at school. Instead, I needed indoor basketball/volleyball sneakers, but not ping pong shoes because those scuff up the floor. 

It has gotten to the point where during "Sports Festival": an all-school field day basically, a student pulled a hamstring and had to be carried off the field and taken to the nurses office. I watched the two teachers carry him in their arms as he was crying out in agony. As they get to the door, the nurse is inside, leaning out to try to help. She tries frantically to take his outside shoes off as he is screaming and the teachers hold this rather large student, whith anguish written all over their faces. All of a sudden, the nurse looks up at the teachers in dissbelief. She cries out "Ni-musubu" ....... "Double Knot!!!" She then avoids the knot and begins tugging at his left shoe, which ofcourse happens to be attatched to the hammy he just pulled. He cries out a painful bellow. At this point, another teacher runs over to them and starts working on the knot. Meanwhile, the two teachers holding him are barking orders to the nurse on how to deactivate the thing and stop pulling off his legs. She's flustered, he's crying, they're angry and all this to keep some dirt out of the room. 

I feel the real culprit here were the indoor shoes. Where the hell were they in all this madness? They could have saved lives....well maybe not lives but at least the inconvienience of a good sweep. Either way, this was an unbelievable scene. 

And, AND...the irony of this entire shoe situation for me, is that they don't even have MY SIZE! I'm an 11 and the cutoff is 10! I have to either get them sent from home or special order them here. Pretty funny really. The truth is, I appreciate the custom but still find the humor in it. I don't know what the lesson is here, but if you have any ideas...please let me know.